Self Improvement

Almost certainly we all have gone though a low point when we feel helpless and hopeless. The occasional case of the blues is perfectly normal, but that doesn’t make dealing with it any easier. If you allow them to, negative thoughts can lead to serious depression. That’s why it’s important to take action early and break that negative thought cycle to get out of a slump.

Understand the emotional cycle - Life is an emotional roller coaster. Some days you feel like nothing can stop you. Other days you feel utterly hopeless. Most of the time you’re somewhere in between. Understanding this will help you put your feelings in perspective. Next time you feel down, just remember that it’s a natural emotion that will inevitably pass. Have you ever doubted that rain stops and the sun comes out again after it?

Reflect on past success - Sometimes it is easy to forget everything you’ve ever done right. Take a few minutes to remember your past accomplishments and recognize yourself for them. This exercise will build self confidence, help you figure out what went wrong, and generate ideas for success in the future.

Change of scenery - One of the best ways to change the way you feel is to change your environment. When you get in a slump, you start to associate your problems with everything around you. It can get to the point where your environment is a constant reminder of your problems. This can be a dangerous cycle. The solution is to change things. Change doesn’t have to be radical. Cleaning up, adding more lights, or including pleasant decorations can completely change the mood of a room.

Interact with animals and nature -. Animals live in the present moment and they show love unconditionally. Observing and interacting with them will help you get over your problems.

Spend time with positive people - Nothing affects the way you think and feel more than the people you interact with. Thoughts (both positive and negative) are contagious. To improve your outlook on life, spend time with positive people who contribute to your life.

Get moving - Moving to a beat makes everyone feel better. The same is true for movement in general. Going to the gym or going for a walk will help you shed the lethargy that comes with feeling depressed. The more enthusiastic your moments, the better you will start to feel.

Break your routine - Going through the same routine, day after day, can be monotonous and depressing. It often leads to getting caught in a rut. To get out of it you need to temporarily change your routine. If you can, take a day off from work. Do something you don’t normally have time for or something you’ve never tried.

Be in the present - It means that all our problems are illusory. What matters is the present moment and enjoying every second of life that we’re blessed with.

Do something to help yourself - Above all, the best way to stop feeling depressed is to take action. Action will occupy your mind and give you something to look forward to. Once you get some results, you’ll build momentum and positive thinking will keep getting easier.

Some of these tips may sound corny but they are worth the try!

1. Buy a packet of glow in the dark stars and stick the stars on the roof above your bed to spell out a message such as “I Love You” When the lights go down, your message will be revealed!
2. Buy the domain name of your partner’s name if it is available for example www.TanyaJohnston.com. Create a web page containing a romantic poem and a picture of a rose. When your partner is surfing the web, casually ask whether she has ever checked to see whether her domain name is taken. Let her type it in to discover her page.
3. Drive into the country, find a grassy hill and lie with your partner and look up at the clouds. Play the kid’s game of looking for shapes in the cloud formations.
4. Leave a long stem rose where your partner will find it with a note on it saying: “Thank you for coming into my life.”
5. Write a note saying “I thought of you today, and it made me smile.” Leave the note somewhere where your partner is sure to find it.
6. If your partner is going on a trip, pack a small present into the corner of her suitcase that she will find when she is away.
7. Buy a tree with your partner and plant it in a special spot. Each year on your anniversary, have a glass of champagne next to your tree and talk about how your love and the tree have grown.
8. If you shower first in the morning. Steam up the bathroom and write a message such as “Pete Loves Kathy” on the mirror for your partner to read when she uses the bathroom. This also works on car windows when it’s cold.
9. Next time it is raining really heavily, go for a walk with your partner. Forget the umbrellas and the raincoats. Run through the streets together, jump in puddles and get totally saturated. Pick her up, twirl her around and kiss her while the rain falls. Taste the water off her face and hold her close. When you get back home have a hot shower and then share a warm drink preferably in front of an open fire.
10. Fill the trunk of your car with helium balloons. Drive to a romantic spot in the country to go for a walk. The ideal spot is somewhere up high with a clear view of the surrounding countryside. Get out of the car and act as though you are about to set off for your walk. Make sure your partner is closer to the car than you and then throw her the keys and ask if she can get your jacket from the trunk while you tie your shoelace. When she opens the boot the balloons will be released. You can also place a sign saying, “I Love You” on the inside of the trunk so that it will be revealed when the trunk opens.

Almost certainly we all have gone though a low point when we feel helpless and hopeless. The occasional case of the blues is perfectly normal, but that doesn’t make dealing with it any easier. If you allow them to, negative thoughts can lead to serious depression. That’s why it’s important to take action early and break that negative thought cycle to get out of a slump.

Understand the emotional cycle - Life is an emotional roller coaster. Some days you feel like nothing can stop you. Other days you feel utterly hopeless. Most of the time you’re somewhere in between. Understanding this will help you put your feelings in perspective. Next time you feel down, just remember that it’s a natural emotion that will inevitably pass. Have you ever doubted that rain stops and the sun comes out again after it?

Reflect on past success - Sometimes it is easy to forget everything you’ve ever done right. Take a few minutes to remember your past accomplishments and recognize yourself for them. This exercise will build self confidence, help you figure out what went wrong, and generate ideas for success in the future.

Change of scenery - One of the best ways to change the way you feel is to change your environment. When you get in a slump, you start to associate your problems with everything around you. It can get to the point where your environment is a constant reminder of your problems. This can be a dangerous cycle. The solution is to change things. Change doesn’t have to be radical. Cleaning up, adding more lights, or including pleasant decorations can completely change the mood of a room.

Interact with animals and nature -. Animals live in the present moment and they show love unconditionally. Observing and interacting with them will help you get over your problems.

Spend time with positive people - Nothing affects the way you think and feel more than the people you interact with. Thoughts (both positive and negative) are contagious. To improve your outlook on life, spend time with positive people who contribute to your life.

Get moving - Moving to a beat makes everyone feel better. The same is true for movement in general. Going to the gym or going for a walk will help you shed the lethargy that comes with feeling depressed. The more enthusiastic your moments, the better you will start to feel.

Break your routine - Going through the same routine, day after day, can be monotonous and depressing. It often leads to getting caught in a rut. To get out of it you need to temporarily change your routine. If you can, take a day off from work. Do something you don’t normally have time for or something you’ve never tried.

Be in the present - It means that all our problems are illusory. What matters is the present moment and enjoying every second of life that we’re blessed with.

Do something to help yourself - Above all, the best way to stop feeling depressed is to take action. Action will occupy your mind and give you something to look forward to. Once you get some results, you’ll build momentum and positive thinking will keep getting easier.

Pessimism is much more popular than optimism. Very many people say they are being realistic, not pessimistic but this is generally not the case. Buddhism offers practical precautions that can really help. Here are some:

Meditation: Sit silently for about an hour a day (or 20 minutes at least) and try to do longer retreats every year for a little quiet time. The modern world doesn’t appreciate the joy of silence. It has been said that this is the age of noise, vice and ignorance of our own true nature (Kali Yuga). That’s why sitting silently and opening to inner wisdom is so beautiful.

It’s always hard to start. There are a couple of secrets. One of them is to take a moment to remember that sitting silently is a joy!

After the first five minutes of meditation the ego gives up its power over the mind. This allows you to sink deeper and deeper into silence. The ego is so much in control of the mind it is really difficult to let go. The intellect is always sorting and categorizing things to do, things to not do, etc. So, if you can just sit for just five minutes, then you will be able to sit in meditation as long as you want afterwards.

Meditation gives you a clearer perspective. During meditation the outer reality becomes fuzzy and the inner reality becomes the only reality. With that perspective the rest of the day can be perceived from a silent and clear center and not on the surface.

No News is good news. Today it is very difficult to stay away from the news because we get the feeling we are not truly living if we don’t know what is going on “out there”. There will always be terrible things happening and this can affect you in a negative way and will prevent you to truly be in the present. Open your eyes and look around. There is so much beauty to be seen.

A lot of people don’t realize how the mind works. Once you’ve seen, you can’t unsee. What you can do is choose wisely what goes in, because once it’s in there, it is part of the mix that you have to live with for the rest of your life. In Sanskrit, it is called the “Chit” or storehouse of memories. We want Sat Chit Ananda translated as “Being, Mind, Bliss!”

Physical wellbeing. Buddhism puts it this way: Eat well and don’t take poisons (i.e. alcohol, tobacco, & drugs). Nothing in excess. Often negativity is a physiological response to not feeling good in the body. The mind and body are intimately related. Look at your body as if it were a temple, take care of it.

Emotional wellbeing. Once again there is an opportunity here to choose wisely. We’ve all had toxic relationships. A little self inquiry can identify who brings you down and who makes you feel good. One idea is to separate the givers from the takers. It’s not an even split. People are not half and half. There are a lot of great people out there giving and supporting you. Lose the takers from your life. Stay with people who positively contribute to your life.

Existence is Cyclical. The pendulum swing both ways. It’s a cycle. Don’t sweat it. Take a broader perspective.

When Buddha say in the first Noble Truth that “life is suffering” it is not to say that life equals suffering. It’s the beginning and at the other side there is freedom from suffering. You will encounter suffering in life because it’s part

Optimism is not so hard. All of existence has been designed to help you evolve. All the sages, saints, and prophets have left us wisdom to give us direction. Our habits of the past can be changed if you want to be happy. Nature itself is singing a song of joy right now. Just listen.

Between failure and success is a journey of self. It is a journey of power - the power to get things done which lies within each and every one of us.

People all over the world love spectator sports, including the Olympics. Nothing wrong with that unless we act as if life is one also. The most dangerous mindset is, “Not me, I can’t do that.” This is like being a spectator in your own life. There is an old saying, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.”

Success begins with the language you use. You have to realize that the choice of language and how this affects your life and your surroundings is very powerful. Whether you are talking to yourself, the kids, or the boss, the words you choose are a reflection of how you see the world and your place in it. Are you always apologizing? Do you begin sentences with, “I’m sorry to bother you, but…” or suppose someone bumps into you, do you apologize? There is a time and place for apologies, but that time isn’t ‘all the time’.

When praised, do you reply, “It was nothing.”? Just as an apology has a place, so does modesty. If you always say, “It was nothing.” then people will think you do “nothing” type of things. Or you will get paid less. Certainly you will get less respect than if you answered, “Thank you.” Recognize what you have achieved and the effort you have put into it. Realize you are worthy, like everybody else, of receiving compliments and rewards. When someone says something nice respond with a thanks - not a put down of yourself.

Women get depressed more often than men. It’s complex why that happens (and men, although they don’t get depressed as often, when they do, it is a deeper depression than women’s.) Confidence can begin by changing your mindset of either “I can change” or “I can’t do anything about who I am.”

Begin with language. Watch what you say. Begin with calm because calm is always stronger than anger. Don’t be hostile. Hostility is not powerful. If asked a hostile question, or when you are in an argument respond with calm, “I see your point of view. Here is mine.”

Stop saying “I will try” or “I would like”. Start saying “I am going to do…” or “I want…” these are very powerful. Once you say it, you are declaring it and you are making it happen. Your words have weight and meaning. It’s awful to see how many people don’t follow their own speech in their actions.

What kind of self talk do you use: happy talk or catastrophizing? If everything is always bad in the way you talk to yourself you can’t get the growth mindset you need to change the behavior which changes the story. No life is always perfect

Learn to define yourself practically. How you reframe or define yourself is very important. Appearing to be wise and or practical is rewarded.

If you don’t start, you can’t finish. If you don’t dream, you can’t reach the dream. Words, language, mindset, it’s all about communication. Begin there, words are tools to build your confidence and happiness will follow.

In a world that values activity, achievements and results, it might be surprising that more and more people are turning to meditation. For all the activity of modern society, many feel a fundamental need for silence, inner peace, and a moment of reflection. Meditation can reduce stress and help us relax; but there are other greater benefits. These are some of the virtues of daily meditation.

Meditation helps to reduce stress by teaching us to switch off the worries that can plague our minds through the day. Meditation is an opportunity to spend time with ourselves. Spending 15 minutes focusing on the present moment, makes us more relaxed and effective decision makers.

Numerous studies have shown that meditation is beneficial to our health. Many of these benefits are related to the decrease in stress that occurs through meditation. With lower levels of stress and anxiety, the probability of heart disease diminishes significantly.

Man has conquered space, Mount Everest and numerous other challenges; but, are we able to conquer our own mind? How often do you find yourself victim to your own negative thoughts? Some people are even of the opinion that it is impossible to control your thoughts. Through meditation we can create peace of mind enabling us to achieve what we want to.

Meditating help us put things in perspective. We are able to detach ourselves from insignificant, yet irritating thoughts. This detachment does not mean indifference, it means just that we are able to maintain balance in the midst of life’s inevitable turbulence.

Who doesn’t want happiness? Meditation takes us to the source of happiness, which is to be found in our own peace of mind. If we have no peace of mind and are constantly attacked by negative thoughts, happiness will remain elusive, no matter how successful we are on an outer plane. Meditation teaches us that happiness is not dependent on outer circumstances, but on our inner attitude.

Be it work, sport or music, concentration is essential to fulfill our potential. Through meditation we gradually improve our concentration.

If you aspire to know more about the nature of existence and life, then meditation can be of great help. Usually we look for meaning in life through external events and other people. Meditation, however, shows us that we can gain a greater understanding of life through knowing who we are. In meditation we gain a new perspective of life. For those who wish it, meditation can become a lifelong process of answering the eternal question: “Who am I?”

The benefits of meditation are real, but, it also requires perseverance. It is a mistake to expect all these benefits in the first few attempts; the mind takes time to tame. To experience the benefits of meditation it is essential to meditate. It is not sufficient to just read about it. Today is a great day to start meditating.

There has certainly been a great deal of interest in the law of attraction lately. It is not a new concept since it is closely related to metaphysics and other disciplines in the last 25 years. It has recently come out and has been analyzed, expanded and explained in its own.

Even scientists have looked at it from the quantum physics perspective. Everything on this planet resonates around energy. We attract the energy we put out and that’s The Law of Attraction. Resonate negative energy and you get that back, with positive energy of course does the reverse. So you really do need to understand that nothing positive will happen without you moving to that mindset and keeping it. John Haglan, featured on the movie The Secret explains it very well.

Wallace Wattles wrote a book almost 100 years ago called The Science of Getting Rich and even back then his “certain way” principles were all about energy and The Law of Attraction. Rebecca Fine wrote the book “The Secret” who was later made into a movie. She has a website dedicated to the principles of Mr. Wattles and her material. Rebecca’s group of contributors are amazing and they all have one purpose which is sharing thoughts on The Law of Attraction, what’s working and not working.

Wayne Dyer said “when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”. Simple and yet profound. Another great inspirational quote is “be the change you want to see in the world”. Again the same concept. Dr. Dyer has written a great deal over the past 25 years and he, like many others, has found the source that feeds the Law of Attraction.

Ryan Higgins has recently come along with something that is creating a tremendous buzz, it’s called Mind Movies. It’s your own movie, filled with your own pictures and personal desires that you would like to manifest through The Law of Attraction. It really is powerful as it keeps us focused with pictures and text on a screen versus just trying to manage it all in our heads. Best of all, it’s your movie, your personalized script and your own pictures. Pictures are a very powerful part of the Law of Attraction. It’s so much easier to simply watch them than to constantly keep trying to recreate the visual in your head. It is a very creative way of visualizing your goals and desires.

You can make your own motivational movie with whatever song and images that inspire you. You can also use pictures that remind you of what you have accomplished so far and give yourself credit for. Be grateful to life. Put all together and keep the movie somewhere you can watch it often. Whenever you feel discouraged watch your movie and your mind will become clearer and you will be able to focus on what is important for you.

To meditate is to still the mind and quiet the constant inner chatter. When the mind is quiet, we can experience inner peace. This inner peace is what attracts so many people to meditation and is something everyone can benefit from.

Meditation is not religious. It is practiced by people of different faiths or atheists. It is about consciousness and our inner reality. Meditation requires an investment of time, but clearing the mind makes the rest of the day more productive. Meditating allows us to be in the present. What is the point of doing a lot of things if we are unable to enjoy the process? Meditation is not about retreating from the world.Whatever you do, if you have peace of mind, your work will be more enjoyable and productive.

Like anything worthwhile, meditation requires practice. To get the most from meditation you need to do it every day. This requires a place and time where you will not be disturbed.

• Sit with a straight back. Don’t try to meditate lying down because you are likely to fall asleep. Meditation brings relaxation and peace but at the same time you are aware and lucid. Meditation is quite different from the relaxation of sleep. When we really meditate, we are fully alert and conscious. Our sense of awareness is heightened.
• Don’t eat before meditating. After a heavy meal your body will be lethargic with digestion.
• It is not necessary to mediate in the lotus posture. It is fine to meditate in a chair, as long as the back is straight.
• It is helpful to take a shower before meditating.
• Burning incense and having a candle are not necessary, but they can add a little extra inspiration and help you ease into the meditation.
• It is good to meditate early in the morning.

There are several ways of meditating you can explore them until you find one that works best for you. Once you have it, it is suggested that you stick to it.

One pointed concentration - Usually, the mind jumps from one thought or idea to another constantly. When you sit down to meditate for the first time, you realize how cluttered the mind is and how difficult it is to stay still for a little while. Teachers have described this as the “monkey mind” because it is like a monkey jumping constantly from branch to branch. The mind can be calmed by focusing on one object or point.

One helpful technique is concentrating on a candle flame. Narrow your gaze to the small tip and do not pay attention to all other thoughts. When you get distracted, go back to focusing on the candle flame. You can also use other objects like a small dot or flower. The important thing is that you concentrate only on one thing at a time.

Mantra - Another way to learn concentration is through the use of a mantra. A mantra is the repetition of a sacred word or sound. The most common mantra is OM which is said to represent the universe. Repeating a mantra forces the mind to focus on a single thought.

Silent Mind - This means no thought at all. Achieving a silent mind can be difficult, but the experience is powerful. One technique which you can use is sitting and pay attention to your breathing. Just breathe. If a distracting thought appears, acknowledge it but let it go, let it take its course without following it. The thought will go out of your mind the same way it came in. If you try to force it out you are paying attention to it and you won’t clear your mind this way.

There is nothing really else to it; meditation is a simple and spontaneous action. Unfortunately, our mind is not used to it and it takes time to unlearn bad habits.

These days, it seems that the concept of living in the present or in the now is a focus of much conversation. One example is, Eckhart Tolle, who was recently featured on Oprah with a ten week webinar of his book The New Earth which is all about the power of living in the Now. Also Wayne Dyer in his book “Being in the moment” talks about the power of now. Life can only happen right now. It doesn’t happen in the past and it can’t happen in the future. The power of life is right now in the present.

Being fully in the present means that your mind is clear, you are not worrying about the past or future or on what you should or shouldn’t be doing. You are focused only on being present right here and now and what you are doing.

Think this: there is an important soccer match. You see the fans or spectators, the press and the players. Which ones you think are the most important? Which one would you choose to be? If you are living in the moment think of yourself as a player since you are actively involved on the present. The players must be focused on the game and not neither on the others nor on other factors such as what they did at home, the bills they have to pay or if kicking the ball between the goal posts is the right thing to do.

Pay attention on how often your mind is focused on either something that happened in the past or something you wish to happen in the future. As you start to pay attention to your thoughts, you may be amazed how often you are in the past or future and not living in the present time. How much of your life are you missing because you are not present to your family, friends, co-workers and other significant people in your life? With practice you can learn to live in the present and enjoy each and every moment of your life. As you start to pay attention to your thoughts and notice, you are thinking about the past or future, simply say “stop” and re-focus your mind on the here and now. With practice, it will get easier over time.

Another way to clear your mind and become more present is to have quiet time for meditation or prayer. By spending quiet time everyday you can connect with your body and still your mind. Think of your mind as a stream of water, your distracting thoughts are leaves that float on the surface of the stream. Focus on the stream looking beyond the leaves and let them float away. Deep breathing will also connect you to the present. As you focus on taking slow deep breathes, you are paying attention to your body and this brings you into the present moment. If you find yourself worrying about the past or future, taking a few slow deep breathes can calm you down and bring you back to the present moment.

“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present” ~Babatunde Olatunji

Letting go and accepting change are some of the hardest things to do for most human beings. Letting go of old worn-out habits, old ineffective thought patterns, old routines that just don’t fit anymore, old feelings and emotional scars that get in the way of progress, are all things that most people have trouble with. Even though all of it is not contributing positively to our present it is very hard to leave it behind. Most would just continue holding on to them in fear of the unknown. We tend to stay in our comfort zone, no matter how painful it is.

Change, which is the one constant in the universe and in life, is quite frightening for most people. Not small changes, for small changes are so common to our everyday experience that we even take them for granted. We don’t realize how change surrounds us all the time.

We even take for granted some longer-term changes; growing up and getting old, getting sick and recovering. There are even some sad changes that we take for granted: if we have a pet dog we know that one day that dog will grow old and die. We don’t like to think of that day and so we rarely do, but we know it’s going to happen and we don’t lose sleep over it.

However, there are other norms that we cling to with a quiet desperation, and anything that threatens to change them we feel threatens us. All of these changes have to do with things that are within us. They might be embodied in outward reflections, such as our careers or our homes, but even then they have to do with they way we feel about ourselves.

There is one thing that most adults fear more than death or, it seems, even physical torture. And that is being wrong. It is this fear of being wrong that prevents us, most of the time, from letting go of the old. Too many times, when we are about to let go of the old we feel that we are admitting to having been wrong (and the assumption that there’s something shameful about being wrong is itself a negative, false assumption). If you think of it wars start out for trying to be “right” and wanting to prove the other part “wrong”.

You see, we feel as if we have invested too much time and energy to learn and figure out what we believe we have. We have, therefore, an overwhelmingly powerful emotional investment in what we think we know like our ways of doing stuff, our priorities, and our beliefs, our feelings about people and places and things.

The ego, says to us, “Wait a minute! You’re thinking about changing your ways with this? You’re getting ready to change your mind about that? Don’t you remember when that certain event happened to you that proved to you that the way you’ve been doing things since then works? You’re safe! Why change? It could be very dangerous!”

But the ego forgets that change is the only constant in life. It forgets that the past is dead; only the here and now is real. We can let go of the old when we find that it’s no longer useful, or it gets in the way of a new level of achievement, or our circumstances have changed. It is natural for us to let go of the old; for as children we do so with ease. But as we get older, we become a little more and a little more expected to have permanent knowledge of stuff. How do we do this? Just doing it. Can you explain how you open your hand, how you beat your heart? You have to realize what you are holding on and that you can let go and you will do it.

Our society values our pride in thinking we know everything. Instead, we can and must learn to take pride in being fearless about making mistakes, changing, seeing a new perspective, letting go of the old and evolving in the life’s journey in which the purpose is not an arrival to the destination itself but taking the journey.